Residents may voice their concerns with the city’s blatantly-nepotistic dedication of excessive public resources to benefit 24 favored residents at the expense of the other 205,000 by emailing their respective city council members.

COLUMBUS, Ga. — City officials are frivolously dedicating hundreds of hours of time and countless resources from several key city departments in an effort to allow 24 individual people to drive their golf carts across Veterans Parkway.

The effort is allegedly geared toward ‘connecting’ the downtown area with the expansive efforts that have taken place across the state highway. 

Why the city believes having 24 individual local residents occasionally drive their golf carts across a state highway will somehow benefit the region remains unclear — and that’s probably because it clearly absolutely won’t. Not even a little bit.

For a greater context of how ridiculous the city’s level of misprioritization is:

More people have been shot to death in Columbus so far this year than the number of registered golf carts.

True story. Read on for the details.

THE LAUGHABLE BACKSTORY

Back in 2015, the city passed Ordinance 15-8 which permitted residents to register their golf carts as “Personal Transportation Vehicles” so they could be driven on certain city streets, within the guidelines of regulations. 

Since that time eight years ago, only 24 individual people have registered such vehicles. Almost all of them are residents of the downtown Historic District.

Despite the extremely-small number of privileged residents who are even affected by the entire situation, the city is moving heaven-on-earth by wasting the time, money, and resources of several key departments — hundreds upon hundreds of man-hours — in an effort to expand that ordinance.

All of that insanely-tedious navigation of traffic regulations is being paid for by you — the taxpayer — just so 24 individual residents of the Historic District can cross a GDOT State Highway on their privileged little golf carts instead of driving their cars and following state law like a normal person.

Mind you, all of this is happening within the glass house of the downtown area in a frivolous expedition to achieve some grandiose vision of utopia as the city literally crumbles around it just blocks away in a murderous bloodbath. Talk about a lack of grounded realism and a naive misprioritization of resources.

Nonetheless, the childish quest for a happy-go-lucky town of golf cart-driving locals lives on in the fantasies of our elected officials, despite the eight years of just 24 individual people being served by the ordinance while the rest of the city descended into a third-world homicide rate. Have they considered that perhaps these two irreconcilable things might not only be correlated — which they clearly are — but also causal? Food for thought.

THE PRESENTED PLAN 

According to Deputy City Manager Pam Hodge at the May 30 city council meeting, the new plan looks to add a crossing for those 24 individual people across one of the busiest and most dangerous intersections of Columbus at Veterans Parkway & 14th Street.

To even develop the plan, Hodge said that it required a collaborative effort of consultation between the Columbus Police Department, Columbus Fire & EMS, the city’s Engineering Department, and the City Attorney.

Hodge stated that, if approved, the plan would also require additional signage, expense, systems, and other supplementary works.

Remember: all of this is so 24 individual people can drive their golf carts across a state highway that isn't even legal for them to cross.

Hodge stated that an update on the proposed plan will come to city council as an ordinance for a typical first and second reading in hopes of being put forth to a vote.

COUNCILORS RESPOND

In response to the seemingly-insane and fiscally-unsound proposal, City Councilor Judy Thomas (District 9) very firmly stated that she was “adamantly opposed” to having golf carts cross Veterans Parkway. Thomas said that if it did come down to a vote, it would absolutely not have her support; she would vote no on the ordinance.

Thomas said that she has spoken with personnel from both the Columbus Police Department and Columbus Fire & EMS on the issue, stating that those she spoke with were also adamantly opposed to the plan due to its inherently-ridiculous and extremely-obvious safety considerations.

Thomas went on to express her vehement opposition to the proposal by reiterating that Veterans Parkway is one of the busiest streets in Columbus. 

Hodge responded to Thomas’ statements by ironically further proving how the city has already wasted countless man-hours on the plan, stating that there have been “lengthy discussions” about how to get golf carts from one side of Veterans Parkway to the other — despite the fact that there are only 24 registered golf carts in the entire city.

Hodge also stated that the effort could utilize the crossing provided by the Dragonfly Trail, since bicycles and pedestrians cross there. However, it appears that the Deputy City Manager has forgotten that registered motor vehicles aren’t bicycles nor pedestrians — they’re registered motor vehicles.

Councilor Joanne Cogle (District 7) then chimed in, stating that she has already asked Dragonfly Trail exec Rebecca Zajac to count pedestrians crossing the intersection at Veterans & 14th Street so she would “have data” on the subject.

It is unclear why Cogle made such a statement, since counting pedestrian crossings is of absolutely no use whatsoever to the crossing of 24 individual people in their registered golf carts. 

What exactly is having a count of people crossing the street on foot going to tell Cogle? Whether the number is 10 per day or 1000 per day, it is of no statistical relevance to golf carts.

Nonetheless, Cogle continued by saying that “this is an important addition to connecting uptown with the Fetch (dog park) and the new developments over there.”

It appears Cogle forgot that the entire project only affects 24 individual people. How is that “an important addition?” If you’re looking for an answer: it isn’t. It’s merely wasting hundreds of  man-hours and ignoring state highway regulations in order to benefit a mere 24 favored residents who live in the Historic District. 

Councilor Glenn Davis (District 2) then appeared to make this exact point himself, asking Hodge to remind everyone of how many registered golf carts there were in the entire city.

Hodge replied by restating that there are only 24 registered golf carts. Hodge also went on to explain that since Veterans Parkway is a state route, it would also require GDOT signage, reminding councilors that GDOT was already not happy about the green pedestrian crosswalk painted on the roadway as part of the Dragonfly Trail. The paint violates state law.

MAYOR HENDERSON’S TYRANNICAL STATEMENT

After all questions and dialogue were exhausted on the subject, Mayor Henderson made the following alarming statement akin to that of a 20th-century dictator. Henderson’s remarks implied that nothing will stop his will on the subject, and that the population will just have to be “reeducated” to comply with it — despite state law and highway regulations, apparently:

“It’s a challenge, but it’s one we’re going to have to meet — and we just have to do a lot of reeducation of people.”

Why? So thousands of taxpayers’ man-hours are wasted in order to nepotistically benefit 24 people in the Historic District so they can live out their childish pipe dream at the expense of the rest of the city’s 205,617 residents?

Are you kidding? Seriously?

THE BOTTOM LINE

Remember: all of this is only being performed for a measly 24 total individual people from the Historic District, which is the total number of people with registered golf carts after eight freakin’ years of trying to make this a ‘thing.’ 

Newsflash: It’s still not a ‘thing.’ 

Do a risk/benefit analysis on moving heaven-on-earth so 24 people can occasionally ride their golf carts across a state highway, and then weigh the results against the delta between the current and projected profit & loss statements. We’ll wait.

You’re chasing a pipe dream on the taxpayers’ dime to nepotistically serve a few favored residents while the rest of the city collapses around this glass house of cards you call ‘downtown.’ 

This is not a sustainable approach to governing a literal city.

It is absurd.

What’s the homicide rate again?

Residents may voice their concerns with the city’s blatantly-nepotistic dedication of excessive public resources to benefit 24 favored residents at the expense of the other 205,000 by emailing their respective city council members.

Facts are stubborn things — and we’ll keep publishing them, whether city officials like them or not.

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